“If you see me walking down the street….”

“..and I start to trip, each time we meet, walk on by… (but give me some clearance!). Damm, that doesn’t rhyme!

In reality, if you did see me, I would probably look a bit of a mess! My walk is now sort of a cross between Norman Wisdom (for those of you who remember him) and a Pirate. At least I have my Halloween party costume lined up!

Image courtesy of vectorolie at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I desperately try not to use a stick or crutches, but have purchased two walking poles. I know progression is happening, but I won’t hurry that day too early. I am a firm believer of use it or lose it.

I remember my consultant (you know the guy, big brain, Nobel Prize and a way with words) telling me that the patients who do the best are those who neither slip into a wheelchair nor remain fiercely independent.

So currently, I can still walk, and my intention is to only use a stick/pole for balance and not weight bear. It appears to me that such use can create twists in your body and exacerbate muscle issues further and thus quicken the natural course of the disease.

 

Here I am on my first outing with a pole with my friend Sheila doing her best impression of Vivienne Westwood!

I have been told that I am at the fiercely independent end of the spectrum, or as I like to say “violently opposed to giving up too early”. However, I have been doing some planning recently, including checking out the latest motorised wheelchairs at the amazing QEF centre in Carshalton.

This beast can out run our dogs!!

It is true what they say. Until you have a disability, you don’t notice the challenges people face.

Don’t get me started about people parking in disabled parking spots!

“I said, don’t get me started!!!” RIGHT…..

Well, I think there needs to be a significant fine, or some other punishment, as there definitely seems to be high misuse.  I am still working on my plan……….. But trust me, it will be short, sharp and swift!

Changing the subject a bit. Flying.

Recently, we were returning from South Africa after our son’s wedding. However, suddenly on the return flight I realised that there was no normal ramp to join the plane, ie there was just a flight of clunky metal stairs! The prospect of climbing these stairs with loads of people and our hand luggage got me a bit panicky. Yes, ok, I did over react!

So I decided to ask for assistance. Virgin Atlantic were very helpful and we joined a number of wheelchair passengers.

For those who have not used such a service before, it is very good. We were loaded onto a truck, which has an adjustable level platform, and then driven alongside the plane. Very efficient! Now I know what an pre-packed airline meal feels like!!

Actually, here is a thought. Don’t you find it just amazing that with the staggering technology of a massive jet airliner (each Airbus A380 costs about £250m for example), which safely transfers us around the globe, in comfort and with incredible precision, still utilises a clattering trolley to serve food!

By Oxfordian Kissuth (Own work) [CC BY-SA 3.0], via Wikimedia Commons

I have also been thinking about Robotics this week. There is no doubt, in my opinion, that we will advance with therapeutic robotic limbs (or powered leg shells) at a pace (pardon the pun).

In fact, Robocop type legs really do not seem far-fetched at all now! Technologies such as self balancing scooters (eg Segway) will merge with brain interfaces and bingo!

I will, of course, require weapon slots, missile options and a kebab holder on mine.

-Arhhh, brilliant that’s it, the future of disabled parking spot policing…..

“YOU”

“What mate!?”

“YES YOU PARKED IN A SPACE RESERVED FOR BLUE BADGE HOLDERS……”

“YOU HAVE 12.4 SECONDS TO COMPLY”

“What!”

“5.2 SECONDS… “

“WOOOOOOSH …… BOOM ………….. SPLAT, SPLAT, SPLOOSH”

ENFORCEMENT COMPLETE

Right I must go, my phone is ringing. It’s the pet shop.

“Lee, the Parrots are now in stock”

“Great, I’ll take a red one please”

“Can you pick it up today, Sir?”

“Yarr, you scurvy old dog, and be quick with the credit card machine!”

Next week, “It’s not only Tortoises that Hibernate”