Oh jeesh what have I stepped in?!

Good day all!

I have an ask for you at the end of my post. So please don’t stop reading!! It’s not a poll this time, but a real challenge!

After the excitement of last week’s video blog, I am back to plain old text this week. I was fully expecting invites from television and film directors asking for my appearances in their latest masterpieces. But now it’s Thursday and not one call! I was hoping, perhaps, for a role playing opposite Emilia Fox in “Silent Witness”. I would take any part, including a morgue stiff! Mind you, I would probably ruin the take with a wink! So if any of you out there have producer contacts, please recommend me. I can do quite a few characters now. Here are some publicity photos you can use….

These are my screen test photos for “6 1/2 inchs of steel in Copenhagen” about a handyman, Stig Braggasen, born in UK, but moved to Denmark, who was so haunted by metrication that he decided to slaughter any clients who quoted millimetres or centimetres in discussions!

Stig loses it when asked to install a spice rack 12.25 cm below a shelf!

The film was a flop in England but went on to be a success in Denmark under the title “165.1 MM” or “165 point én mm”. It gained a cult following.

To do any DIY at home, I have to go to my shed, which is a way from our house, down a pathway.

I have become very precise in my footsteps. I touched on this in my Precision is vital post.

I have become a child again. Footwear needs to be just right, as any misstep or stepping on a stone can cause me to lose balance.

Taking shoes off is a slow task, and leads to wearing shoes for much longer periods. Of course, just by sheer mathematics, the chance of bringing materials, unwanted, into the house is therefore increased.

As we own a couple of dogs, I am eagle eyed for dog waste, and can immediately sense when I have picked up a ripe choice selection.

As soon as this happens, the mammoth task of getting somewhere to resolve the issue begins. I can’t just lift a leg, whip one shoe off, and then the other. I have to be seated. So, not only do I walk like a pirate, I am a pirate with a pile of s*** on my foot.

Fellow dog owners will appreciate that chucking away shoes is just not viable! So please be aware of visiting dog owners, but also take other precautions before their arrival such as

1) Don’t have fluffy white or cream carpets in your lounge, entrance hall etc. It’s just plain stupidity. Go on check your hallway and high tread areas? Worried now?

2) Keep surgical shoe covers in your doorway.

Other news this week.

I decided to buy a new “Black and Decker” workbench. My current one is knackered, and I have had it for 30 years! My new one will “see me out”! What a horrid term. On the subject of DIY items, I also noticed our step ladder. Wow, now I can quite categorically say that was the best and most used Wedding present we had. It’s seen a lot of action, most notably Jean falling off on to her a*** and a dent appearing in her buttock! Ladders, I only now use under extreme supervision, and/or over a swimming pool.

The workmate arrived today and needs assembling, no small task for me now. Wish me luck. I should be ok, although I may destroy a fair bit of the shed.

I think this photo is ironic, with the old workmate supporting the new one! Oh such simple things please me now.

And built… I didn’t fall in a heap, so very pleased.

I am thinking about one of these for spring and summer, it’s a trike.

The gentleman in the photo is Ray Spooner, an Englishman living with MND/ALS in America. Take a look at his blog, Rayslittleride, it’s great. Ray rode across America on a standard bike and a trike. It was done in no short time either, 1 month! I have put his blog on my favourites.

I still have muscle power, my balance is the most disturbing thing for me, and as such a trike could be my path back to some more serious exercise. Currently, I go to a gym, but miss the open roads, or off road. And also, just imagine how annoying I could be on our small English roads. I will use the hand signals that I have refined over many years of safe, but rapid get away driving!

Right it’s time for a challenge and I want maximum effort from all of you! I mentioned “bucket list” the other week, but how about you help me to achieve a little something? I would like my blog to be read from every country in the world! Yes I know that may be difficult, but I don’t mind if you do it on holiday, ask a friend, or share my blog with some new friends etc. Promise them a great weekly read, and it’s all in the best possible taste! Of course, it’s all about raising the profile for MND/ALS.

The map below shows my current penetration! The darker the colour, the more readers.

Not bad. But still loads to go. The white areas are onein400 blog free zones. I need to be read there!

There are some interesting gaps. Greenland for example. Initially I thought no one lives there and surely no internet. But no, Greenland has a population of about 50000 and they have the web. Then there is Iceland. I would love some Northern readers.

In the Southern Hemisphere, I need some readers from Ecuador, Venezuela and Bolivia and a lot of central Africa.  I don’t appear to have any readers from China either, just Hong Kong.

Now for next week’s post. I am thinking about writing a “friends” post. i.e. I will pick on some of you, my Facebook friends, and make wicked comments! I need to think it over to make sure all my readers find such comments funny/appropriate as well as the victims. It’s only an idea, but be warned!

However, I may actually do a serious post again first.

See you next week, same time, same place.