The beat goes on…a whole new world!

Oh yes it does!

This week I had my first overnight hospital stay in my adult life! Yes despite having MND I have never ever spent a night in hospital.

“Holy Doctors Batman, what happened, Lee?”

Do you remember, back in a recent post, I mentioned a well man clinic? Well, out of that I pushed for a heart specialist review as I had high blood pressure and some symptoms which I really couldn’t put down to MND.

Coming right up to date, I attended a planned heart specialist appointment on Wednesday night and by Thursday morning I was in hospital having an angiogram!

I am a complete tech and medical nutter and admire what we can now achieve. Turn away now if you don’t want to hear about the procedure…!

Remember, nothing is ever normal in the world of onein400!!

Basically, under local anaesthetic a small tube is inserted into an artery in my groin and directed all the way to the heart! (“About 2 feet straight on mate, and then a sharp left!”). A special dye is then introduced and live moving X-rays are viewed to show the precise flow of blood.

After the tube was removed from my femoral artery, there was just the ‘itsy bitsy’ small matter of repairing the hole in the highly pressurised blood vessel!

An ingenious plug, known as an angio-seal, is used. All that is then needed is 30 minutes of applied pressure by a nurse on my groin! Time passes slowly and after 30 minutes discussing soft furnishings and why a corner sofa will never replace a Chaise longe, she leaves and there is no leak! Although there was that worrying glancing look to another operative that concerned me! Don’t do that!

The long and short of it is that I have some coronary heart vessel narrowing enough to give me strong angina. As a result I am now taking a couple of drugs and have to be reassessed in a week or so.

During the day of tests I was whisked around for a chest X-ray and other things. Luckily I had my Lord Bragg Smoking Jacket to keep me warm during the corridor dashes! (Get your own free smoking jacket, only £15 p&p with special packets of Lord Bragg shag!).

What a guy!

The morning after on the ward, I was woken at 6am. Not a problem for me but it does remind me of one of the scenes from Carry on Doctor shown in this little montage. Take a break and enjoy pure cinematic, unfettered from political correctness, fun! But also, on a serious note. Observe the ambulance driver and colleague. Although a comedy, it is true that back in the late 1960’s early 70’s ambulance drivers were pretty much taxi drivers. Look our far we have come with paramedics.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=heB2g0IvOMg

Of course, it would not be politically correct for me to say that back then nurse dressed up for the occasion and that Barbara Windsor as “Nurse May” was hysterical. So I won’t!

After a tray of tea and breakfast served at 8am (note to Jean – the tray is a thoughtful addition that could be implemented at home?) I went for a shave.

After bubbling up my face I suddenly realised there was no plug! Apparently, as I found out later, this is for hospital hygiene reasons! After turning the water on full blast to create a major whirlpool to facilitate a static trough of water, enough to splash on face whilst rapidly moving up and down with the razor, I bandaged my face, applied after shave and wiped my Crown Jewels with a wet wipe. I was not allowed a proper wash for 36 hours!

Trying to keep quiet about a hospital visit As a resident in a village is near impossible. And this was no different. In the two days of hospital stay, not only was I treated by a nurse who lives two doors down from our house but I also bumped into a friend in the recovery room!

I am at home now and getting on with life.

So my plan has partially worked, ie my arm and neck symptoms were not MND! Moral of the story readers, not everything may be MND and at my age and family history it was probably always going to be so. Basically I have had a 75,000 mile service. On the way out they tried to up-sell me with a complete body scrub that promised to bring me back to showroom condition! Don’t laugh, it is probably not that far off in technology these days! I said that I would make do with the tingly mint freshen up wash!

Before this little midweek adventure, last weekend Jean and I ventured to Moors Valley County Park, and I hired one of these, a tramper! They are free to blue badge holders at various sites around the country and this one enabled me to enjoy a walk with the family. Of course, there is the small issue of 21st Century parents with their little treasures aimlessly cycling and the wildlife using the same paths as me!

”Is that the last squirrel removed, Robert? I’ll try moving again”

A fine day was had by all!

Right I must go, as I have a raft of pills now to sort out into my daily schedule! No time to talk!

Same time week, readers. Hopefully not as dramatic as this week!