****, that was a loud thump!

Good day all. If you have been just away on holiday, it is now that time of year when the credit card bill drops through the door! That carefree, lack of control spending makes itself known by a massive loud thump as the bills are posted through your letter box! The heavy noise means there is load of ink on the bill! You could almost hear the postman laughing as he tried to lift the envelope.

It can only mean one thing! Put the bill aside for while!

Hey Lee, you are known as Mr Tech. So what’s this about paper bills? Well, although I pay most things automatically, I still like that paper one, once a month for control and ease of reading. But also, it makes for much better “What the hell have you spent!?” discussions with Jean, accompanied by extreme pointing and gestures!

After last week’s post, I received a number of comments about ladies “enjoying” their handbags. So this week, I thought I would enjoy a purchase. Whilst in the USA recently, I treated myself to a new wallet! Yes readers, the old one had suffered enough, so I acquired a nice shiny American one.

It was all boxed (posh huh), and I just put it in our luggage for later “enjoyment” when we arrived back in the UK.

So this Wednesday I settled down with a cup of coffee, a number of healthy biscuits and some irrelevant TV news whilst I transfered my stuff from old wallet to the new enjoyable one.

All was going well, with only very mild shouting at the TV reporters, when suddenly!!!

Can you see the **** problem? When I came to place some dosh, cash, wonga, readies, into the wallet, I realised that it was only suitable for those small US Dollars! My US friends, there are other currencies you know! Actually whilst on the subject “Why on earth are all your notes the same colour and size!” I have lost count of the number of times I have paid with a $50 bill thinking it was a 5 or a 10!

Anyway, I am going to have to fold notes, but I will tolerate it. I was so angry I almost tweeted about it! But I have decorum and a sense of perspective.

On Tuesday I had my weekly massage. Unfortunately, on the way out I had a small fall in the corridor. I lost focus for a split second, and bang I was on the floor. It was quite a good fall, in that it was onto carpet, and I managed to turn around with a full twist and a roll backwards. I did, however, manage to bend one of my fingers, which has now turned slightly black. But all in all, it was a 3.4 for technical merit, but a strong 6 for artistic impression!

With regards to MND progression I like to monitor my strength by lifting things. Not for me weights. No that’s too logical. I prefer to lift this with a hand, yes a kitchen stool. I find it a good gauge.

Next week, “Repairing wooden stools and Victorian glass cake domes, a handy user guide”.

On Tuesday night we retired to bed, and Jean wanted to read her book. Such a nice way of ending the day quietly. Well, I thought I would surprise her. No readers, your minds are sordid, not that! It’s only midweek for goodness sake, and only the 3rd week in the month! What I did was to jump onto my iPad and I thought I would play a nice “fart” sound from a website. Yes, I know a little bit childish, but timing can make these things funny. So I secretly selected a nice “long fart” from a website containing a superb menu of sounds, and pressed “play”!

What I didn’t realise, however, was that my iPad had acquired the Bluetooth signal of our TV sound bar in the lounge, all 100 Watts of it!

Ooops. I got in trouble for that one, and was told to sleep facing the other direction! Married to a teacher! It was funny though, and at least I shared the joke with our neighbours.

On Wednesday, Jean and I went to the gym. As mentioned in my Precision blog, I plan things in serious detail. I have decided that carrying a sports bag is just too unstable for my walking now, so have changed to a small rucksack. All was good, until the “Shower Scene!” I disrobed, locked my locker and went to the shower. After a very precise shower, I hobbled back to the locker. In went the key, and would it turn? No! I took it out and tried again. This time it took effort to push in, the barrels were grinding! I was now quite anxious, as I was never going to wander with a towel, around my waist, into reception, with the chance of slipping and the resultant flying meat and two veg. All rounded off with a slurring plea! I even tried to wrench the door off. I was really worried, and then like magic it released! I am not using locker 32 again!

Watched Michael Mosley’s, “Trust me I am a Doctor“, where he detailed a small study of turmeric as a potential therapeutic for cancer prevention and inflammation. It has been believed for a long time that turmeric has special qualities. Nothing has ever been proved scientifically. Infact, this study does not come to solid conclusions. I will write a considered review of the available study information next week.

Lord Bragg is writing his memoirs, and I was given exclusive access to some of the draft material. He writes about modern life and his life. I asked him about “going viral”.

Same time next week readers!