Oh yes readers the words of Daffy Duck! What has happened in onein400 land since my last post. There are two distinct parts to this week’s episode. My usual fare of complete and utter chaos and then a final serious section as it is the launch of MND Awareness Month in the UK this week!!

Still reeling from Arsenal winning the FA Cup, fate would have a twist up its sleeve for my continued, or soon to be halted, joy. Whilst scoffing spicy peanuts on Monday night, I lost a chunk of one of my molars!! After removing the piece of perfect white gnasher from my gob I then moved my tongue into the place where this chip had come from. It felt the size of the Grand Canyon, along with the Colorado River running through it, and a whole series of tourist helicopters. You get my drift? This was a big hole! Fortunately there was no pain, but I was pretty distressed I can tell you. Jean told me to calm down. I said, how would you feel if you had perfect Donny Osmond teeth and this happened? No sympathy at all.

As this wasn’t an emergency, an appointment was made the next day for Wednesday. Jean said it looked like I needed a crown, and that the dentist would drill most of the tooth away to create a peg, on to which a temporary cover would be placed and then a custom crown would be made.

After cleaning my sick up following Jeans kind, gentle and sensitive script of how it was going to play out in the next 24 hours, I watched a couple of box sets, as part of my last wishes! I also had a cooked breakfast and went for a cycle on Wednesday morning.

I have not had ANY drilling or serious work done on my teeth, aside hygienist appointments, for over 25 years. My memory of those old days is actually very grim. I am sure my dentist used to say to me before any work

“Brace yourself, Lee!”

Wednesday came. I watched one more episode of Twin Peaks and it’s appropriate theme music, said “goodbye” to the dogs and the cat (he is deaf). But even a deaf cat knew something was afoot and I am sure I heard him laughing. Jean drove me to the dentist, and I hugged her as she dropped me off. I understand she went shopping whilst I was visiting the Game of Thrones set!

I then climbed the stairs to my appointment with Vlad the Impaler. I had booked the first torture session after the dungeon master’s lunch break and was 10 minutes early! Vlad’s pretty assistant glibly directed me to the waiting room. Her firm body, perfectly kept hair, three bean salad for lunch and slinky uniform were just wasted on me.  I didn’t have my glasses, so couldn’t even read the magazines!

Bong! The clock struck 2pm and I was invited into the chair. 

“Relax, open up,……. Arhh yes, it would have been a fine crack, Lee, It was always going to break off with even the slightest bite on a Waitrose nut. No problem, we can just drill it out and put a nice new 21st Century white filling in it”

“Let’s get right on with it now!”

Thinking about the weather, carpets and just how difficult it is to actually fillet mackerel, even with the right implements, I managed to distract myself from Vlad and his approaching syringe! Just why can’t a syringe look less threatening! This one needed the arms of a weightlifter to squeeze!

It was fine. Jeesh what was I worried about? I barely felt the injection, and the approaching numbness hid any pain. They then attached what felt like a model Eiffel Tower to my tooth with a clamp to hold everything in place. Fearing that I might have one of my speciality MND sneezes, I managed to hold back as I am sure if I had sneezed the they would have been removing the Eiffel Tower thing from the nurse under a flood of snot!

Just ten minutes later, I left like I had just survived a free fall, without parachute. But where was that lovely assistant now?

I did notice that Vlad had used a tube of Lord Bragg’s Braggnocaine anaesthetic.

Apparently it costs a tenth of lignocaine, and has only one side effect. Not only does your lip, and jaw, feel the size of a helium balloon, it is the size of a helium balloon.

But it soon wore off.

Returning home, I managed to persuade Jean that I deserved an ice cream, or two!

Right! Now down to serious matters.

On June 1st, the annual MND awareness month started in the UK, and June 21st is Global MND/ALS awareness day.

The theme this year is The Story Behind the Eyes.

Why?

The eyes may be the only part of our bodies that we may be able to move as our disease progresses. The MNDA are running a campaign on social media called #MyEyesSay. They are encouraging people to tweet and post selfies of their eyes stating what they would say if they could only move their eyes?

Awareness is everything for MND. Everyone knows what Cancer is, but MND?

Over the coming month I will post a couple of special posts with facts and information, but for today……

#MyEyesSay

“MND can hit at any age. Please watch this video of Gemma, aged 30, diagnosed just a year ago. Gemma was an active young person, taking on the world. This video is part of the people living with MND stories from the current Campaign”

One last favour. Can you all please share this post? None of that copy and paste stuff, just share it. And if you can, please donate at my One Way or Another we will beat MND site, or directly at the MND Association donation site link, where you will find out that there are other ways you might be able to help, including volunteering.

MND, despite hitting 1 in 300 of us in our lifetimes, will never attract vast government money, so we need all the help we can get to stop MND in its tracks and find a cure. Certainly before our children grow up.

Next week’s post will be delayed until Sunday 11th June. Something to entertain you after the General Election!