A feast for Christmas – Or else!

Happy Christmas readers! As usual I release my Xmas post at about 3pm. Don’t forget to record the Queen! Right let’s have a feast like it’s 1999 (to use the words of Prince!). The best things in life, why compromise? Take every opportunity! This week’s post is just some ramblings from me whilst recovering from my bypass operation. I have been a bit laid up! Too much time to think!

Right let’s get started! We need to go back to 1975….

“It is Christmas Eve 1975 and Lord Bragg is in his Brighton office. Busy handling complaints from his shopping company, Lord Lee packs yet another replacement indestructible Lord Bragg sledge hammer. Tired from working all week in resolving customer complaints (a record breaking number), he settles down for the evening.

He pours a large glass of Cinzano Bianco, and turns on his record deck and amplifier. He opens the cupboard and removes the 7 inch singles storage box. He selects the current Christmas number one in the UK charts, blows any obvious dust off the surface and places it on the turntable. He sets the speed at 45 rpm, and grabs his dust cleaner. Carefully holding the dust cleaner in the direction of motion the record is thoroughly cleaned. 

Setting the volume at 75% maximum, he gently lowers the stylus onto the record. A regular pop and click is audible until the marvellous notes of Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody fills the room.

Lord Bragg has had a good year and now enjoys relaxing, when suddenly his listening is interrupted by a knock at the door. It is a mysterious salesman. He is offering 100,000 bottles of suntan lotion for a very reasonable price. “What am I am going to do with these silly man, this Is the UK It’s never sunny. But I will take 50,000 of your magnifying glasses”

A year later Lord Bragg’s flat burned down after he left one of the magnifying glasses in the window during the record-breaking 1976 heat wave in the U.K”

Poor Lord Bragg.

But here in 1975, Freddie Mercury rocks Bragg’s flat with the awesome finale of the rock anthem.

So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye?

So you think you can love me and leave me to die?

Oh, baby, can’t do this to me, baby,

Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here.

Words by the late, great Freddie Mercury.

I was lucky enough to see Queen with Freddie Mercury in Brighton in 1979 when I was just 16. What a band they were. Just look at the set they played. Freddie was intoxicating. They were at the peak of their greatness and decided to played some small venue shows.

To be honest I feel like the words of this song right now. Life has tried to smash me into pieces in the last few weeks, but “I have come through……….” “ we are the champions my friends! No time for losers!”

As a young man growing up was sprinkled with music, which was my love. Back then it was vinyl records. Despite all the apparent romance now attached to vinyl, it was really a pain the arse. I had 200 albums. Not a lot by today’s standards, although I was familiar with every single bar and chord of the music. Storing them was grim. 200 albums occupied 5 large heavy boxes, and I took them all to university!My Dads car was full of them.

My humour was greatly influenced by the TV stars of the time, including the great Dick Emery. Simple pleasures like his character Mandy.

I am sorry political correctness lovers, it was funny!

I was also further reminded of the 70s this week when I watched the film Alien staring Sigourney Weaver and the late John Hurt. The scene in which the Alien bursts out of his chest is a movie classic and I remember sneaking into the cinema (I was only 16) to see the X rated film. I have been watching a few movies following my bypass just over 2 weeks ago. One tip I can give any prospective upcoming bypass patient – don’t watch anything that is extremely funny! I did and felt like John Hurt a few times when I laughed!!!

So for a short while I really need some recommendations,  readers,  for totally unfunny comedians that I can watch! Otherwise it’s serious and violent films for a few more weeks.

Actually, Jean and I have been watching Peaky Blinders, catching up on the first 3 series. For those who haven’t seen the drama, it is set in 1920’s Birmingham, UK. It is basically about a gang named after the real life Peaky Blinders, who wore caps, dressed in a dapper manner, and ruled Small Heath with a rod of iron running bookmakers and basically anything criminal. It is very artistic, but brutally violent, and no one ever smiles. They seem to get angry over anything! I think it has rubbed off on me. When Jean burnt some toast the other day, our dogs (Poppy and Dora) had to calm me down! Strangely enough Jean’s family has genuine 100% roots in the area, and some of her old photos, we have, show relatives in caps, with what can only be described as quite menacing looks! Here is Jean’s grandfather!

It got me thinking on some new Television concepts in 2018. Are you bored of fluffy programmes like Strictly Come Dancing and the X Factor? How about X Factor judged by Peaky Blinders? They would not be lacking in coming forward with comments and actions!

”All I want to do is sing. This is my last chance in life. I don’t know what I will do if I don’t win”

”What! you ***, just Shut up,!” – smash, slash, blood explosion!

Gory picture warning…. exit post now if at all squeamish!

Interestingly I now have a scar on my leg that could be a punishment scar made by the Blinders! Perhaps my tango on Strictly versus Peaky was not quite good enough!

Since leaving hospital my appetite has returned and ironically I am currently advised to get stuffed with no concern to fat/sugar/carb content etc.

And it’s Christmas! Everything tastes fab.

It will be 2018 by my next post. What will the new year bring/