Morning readers! Mad, mad, mad. What a thought!

We all like mad people, don’t we?

Now, I do need to be very precise before I am accused of being totally flippant. I mean “Mad in a nice way” and not mad with a dash of psychopathic serial killer tendency thrown in of course!

I am sort of mad now, or can appear it. For example, even with the amazing logistics of modern home delivery systems where I am able to plan to be absolutely right beside the front door before a package or two arrives, sometimes I just can’t get there. It makes me mad.

and why, oh why, am I always on the loo (John for my American friends) when the delivery arrives!

Then the horrific knock at the door results in a muffled shout from the toilet…..

”Wait, just one minute” – as I knock the toilet roll over floor!

knock knock!!

”Wait I am coming!”

knock knock!!!!!

”Jist trucking wait, I am a ******* cripple!”

When I finally get to the door all I get for my titanic efforts is a shrug of the shoulders! If I could ‘clip’ the delivery agent around the ear, I would! But if did that now, I would fall over at best!

Whilst out on my trike the other day, which I have adorned with MNDA flags, a lady starting chatting to me as I was parking up to observe life in a local village. She noted my trike, like many do, which I have mentioned quite a bit in my blog including my test ride some 3 years ago now. Generally, it is a comment about ‘my amazing contraption’, and I always then mention my MND affliction and how good triking is for me. This time, however, when I mentioned MND she then started to talk about her late husband who suffered from a condition known as CBD.

No, readers not that damn cannabis ‘heal all’ snake oil stuff, but a neurodegenerative disease known as Cortical Basal Degeneration!

It is a disease with quite a similar progression as MND. But, folks, before you get concerned about the depressiveness of my chat, the discussion went freely off into different subjects and we had a great chin wag!

What is it about me? Our conversation veered off into something bonkers! Within seconds she was telling me about her daughter-in-law and her unusual proclivities! It was fun and she kept me trapped for quite a while, and all because of a slight commonality! She was as a mad as a hatter, but charming with it! Jean rescued me from being potentially taken hostage. She was worried about the lady wheeling me off into her lair with promises of wonderful toast and marmalade!

Jean, but I do like marmalade! That’s all she promised….

The phrase ‘Mad as Hatter’ originates from those workers in the hat making process exposed to mercury fumes in the 1800s causing serious neurological issues. I need to mention right now, that any link to neurological diseases from mercury dental fillings, for example, has been totally and utterly disproven. Readers, please don’t believe those who actively promote chelation therapy. It’s yet another fantastical unscientific treatment that our community and others are exposed to now and then. To be scientifically correct, there are in fact, one or two well accepted treatments involving, eg reducing iron in the human body, which are occasionally used for very specific health conditions. But none are proven worthwhile for any neurological diseases. And, even these have to be administered with extremely close monitoring.

We should, however, all be thankful for modern laws, safeguards and regulations which prevent serious quantifiable dangers. Another crazy product in the 1800s, was Paris Green, a wallpaper dye which contained arsenic! It is now emerging that a number of high profile murder convictions were probably highly dubious in the early 1900s, due to the surprisingly commonality of arsenic in day to day life back then. So much so, that the early forensic evidence is now being highly doubted! Ooops!

My mum is a bit mad! She says many things which absolutely cannot be quoted in public these days due to the overwhelming apparent sensitivity of folk today.

She had me in fits of laughter, just the other day, with her usual charming politically incorrect, but thoroughly polite, thoughts. I always keep a stock of Valium, for anyone of an anxious nature present! As you could probably guess, my mum is quite a big age, and as I always say, has achieved a darn good innings whatever happens. After her cataracts were removed recently, she has been constantly commenting how her vision has improved so much that all of her friends now look really old with wrinkly faces! Glancing down at her own skin on her arm she even proclaimed:

Look at me, I am the walking dead!

The perils of high definition vision!

We had some truly quite bonkers people in our garden about a fortnight ago.

Yes, tree surgeons! We needed to have one large ash tree felled due to ongoing disease in the trunk.

No, that’s not a tree hugger or protester in the tree folks; it’s one of the crew. We had all the pesky trouble makers removed before work commenced using Lord Bragg’s amazing Tree Hugger Removal Apparatus! It’s available in a number of editions with options. We were sold the..

“Nothing to see here, move along now…..” Premium Edition

What a guy! Tolerating no delays in his world!

Actually, you might just spy one of Lord Bragg’s patented Safety chainsaws in the photo, attached in turn to a Lord Bragg adjustable bungy rope?

Certainly operating a chainsaw is something I would not attempt nowadays! I highly recommend that if you have MND please don’t use such devices!

After having survived the tree downing day without any bloodshed, aside of course that of the protesters, Jean and I ventured to North Wales for our regular dose of remoteness! We have now, a highly rehearsed driving route with disabled friendly stops. I treated Jean kinder this time though. I normally insist on parking in a specific area at one watering hole and commanding her to walk to purchase me a wholesome Kentucky Fried Chicken lunch! Being that it was raining cats and dogs (seriously big dogs), I lowered my demands. What a nice guy I am!?

As we arrived for our weeks holiday we encountered loads of…..

I had to turn my Tinder off on my iPhone in response to the sheer amount of ‘swiping right’ I had to do with hundreds of BaaaaaBara’s and someone called Ramsey! Time to make a quick exit!

Signing off for another week folks as Lord Bragg is asking me for some advice regarding the marketing of his brand new edition of the Tree Hugger Removal Apparatus, the Unwanted Celebrity Edition!

What a guy!

Back soon!