Good day, all! I am having real pppproooblems writing thiiiiis post as I have been having a snnnnneeezing fit!

Hopefully I willl geeeeet some more woooooooooords out sooon, atisooooooo! Splat!!

Jeesh, what a ******* mess! I think have recovered, but it was half an hour of sneezing, reaching for tissues and avoiding anything in my way! Sorry dogs, but you could see what was happening. Why did you just stand there looking at me!? I don’t think I have a cold. It’s just this damn disease with the bulbar muscles (soft palette) being weak. This means that I get irritations into the nasal area a lot easier!

I have to be totally static when I sneeze or else falling over is remarkably easy. Jean will confirm that when I stood up from bed just the other day, apart from shocking the neighbours, because we had our curtains open, I did suddenly sneeze and fall into my chest of drawers! I was lucky as I managed to grab a stable hold. So air, or wind, can be quite off-putting. I most certainly try to release those little silent but deadly things (farts) discreetly at strategic places and times now! I now know what it is like to be that delicate Lady of the Manor! In fact my post cover photo shows me regaining balance after a particularly nice Okra bhaji and highly spiced Bombay potato (made with Bragg’s chilli flakes (Military grade)).

Anyway, back to the week that was with onein400!!

After the plumbing changes, it has been a much calmer home.

Tuesday was the quiz night, one of our monthly highlights. Full of promise, great food and generally all ends in vast disappointment! This week was no different. I had allocated the different revision sections to our team of four. I cunningly took the pot luck section for revision (smart cookie) and didn’t disappoint with my amazing, but slow, recall, to the question

“Who promoted the hip and thigh diet in the 1980s?”

Amazing the team with Rosemary Conley, I went on to severely misguide in all other questions, and as a result we had our worst score for months! Sorry guys, you must have the courage of your convictions!

We all celebrated/commiserated with a fab dessert.

Chocolate pud with custard!

But, being my age, and again the effects of MND, I have to be careful. Eating such things near bedtime leads to severe heart burn, which is crap.

Luckily I have got a bottle of Lord Bragg’s marvellous antacid “Bragg’s Stomach Custard” What an invention!

It’s a dual purpose custard and stomach liner! It does have a rather odd taste, and you have to be careful lying down.

The quiz at our local, the Woodmancote, is really a great deal and the pub is amazing. £5 per person including a main course meal. Take a look at their website and their tripadvisor page. I highly recommend!

There’s always a veggie option as well as a normal choice!

On Wednesday, Jean and I went to visit our good friend Jim from our village who also has MND, and is currently in a local hospice.

What a wonderful place. Jim is with his wife in a Rowans hospice and I have to say that it is amazing. The comfort, surroundings and atmosphere are stunning and the staff so welcoming.

Off we went at 3pm and parked up in one of the disabled spots. Having successfully not knocked anyone over on our walk to reception, I hobbled in. Unfortunately, Jean has no voice currently as she had laryngitis, and of course I have my “drunken” yob voice. Combined with suddenly forgetting Jim’s surname led to me saying:

“I have come to wee Jim”

“Pardon?”

“He is wier with his wife”

“arhhhhh Mr XXXXX you mean”

“Yes, twats wot I have bin swaying!!” – Jean just nodded knowingly.

We were then kindly led by a new assistant receptionist to Jim’s room. Unfortunately, as she apologised, she was very very new to the hospice layout (it was her first day) and we walked around the entire complex twice, rather lost. She was lovely and chatted all the way, and left me exhausted and almost needing a lie down!

We eventually arrived and Jean was immediately banished to the lovely garden directly connected to Jim’s room. We absolutely didn’t want to risk any colds being transferred. Jim and I had a good chat discussing all the usual things we MND people do and normal everyday matters.

On our exit, at reception, they were selling surplus Easter eggs to raise money. I bought a few as a) I like chocolate and b) the work the staff do there is amazing.

Our visit to see Jim has really opened my eyes to the Hospice charities. Being brutal, we might all need their services one day and we can be 100% certain that all funds have one purpose only. If you want to consider a donation/legacy I would highly recommend a hospice fund. I must admit to being rather bemused to the amounts animal charities inherit compared to hospice funds. If you want to be amazed just take a look at the Donkey Santuary Charity annual report! Trust me, you will be speechless! It’s a bit political for me, but somethings press my buttons!

On the way home we drove past our local crematorium. It is a bit drab looking. I have instructed Jean, not this one if I do happen to spin off this mortal coil before her. There is a far nicer one in Chichester, which looks more suitable. However, the entrance to the location is on a blind bend! I am not being funny, but it’s an absolute death trap!

On Thursday I broke my current record for a small section of my regular trike ride. Although my times are not really for boasting about these days, it helps me focus my mind. Mind you, it was highly wind assisted, and not methane this time!

Finally this week. Did you all see this lovely story in the press this week? Icebergs drifting past a Newfoundland town in Canada?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-39632047

Lord Bragg has been inspired and is now offering fully accessible Icebergs for everyone. I phoned him inquiring about the possibility of sourcing one for the South Coast of England. He has told me to meet him at the harbour, after dark, and bring a strong anchor! What a guy!

Same time next week, folks!

Oh, and apparently we are having a General Election in the UK!!