Hunker down issue!

It’s the Hunker down issue sponsored by Bragg’s Cryogenics.

So sorry readers, I have had to take advertising yet again from Lord Bragg. Ok, Lord Bragg please say what you need to and get out of here…

“….thanks Lee, just a quick hello to say that with every registered application for a full body Bragg’s Cryogenic tube, we are giving away a free ice cube tray regardless of whether you purchase or not…….”

That’s enough, Bragg! My readers are not swayed by such bribes! Is that a full or half sized ice tray, Lord Lee???

However, it is actually the Ice Age here in the UK! This special post from onein400 comes from deep in the onein400 thermal bunker. Don’t go out there, don’t answer the door and eat those zombie apocalypse supplies that you have hoarded! For those outside of the UK we are experiencing a rather cold and snowy period. We find it very alien! For me, the excuse of that my body won’t move out there, is a very good reason for having a chilled (pardon the pun) time.

Scream!! Some fool has just delivered a small packet through our front door, and it has propped the letter box open! Maniac! The hallway is freezing!

Yes this week has been pretty hairy so far…..

On Monday, before the impending apocalypse, Jean and I ventured to deepest, darkest Worthing for the monthly MNDA branch meeting. It was a cold icy evening. I was to give a short presentation about MND Awareness and my work with the National Awareness raising group that I briefly mentioned last week.

It was a packed house and rumours were abounding that perhaps Brighton football Stadium might be needed to take the overflow! In the end they all packed in to see my little presentation. But first, I was asked to officiate in the committee meeting over a rather sensitive issue that arose over this year’s upcoming charity summer cake fair.

At the end of the evening, my minder, Stuart (from Bragg’s Bruisers) and I left in our matching gangster rollators. Please be warned that Stuart ( aka “run them over and then reverse back” Stu) is merciless if you challenge him. The film Rollator 4 was all about Stuart.

By the way, don’t forget that next Tuesday the rollator maintenance class will be held at 7:30pm. Bring your oil and Allen keys for an hour of maintenance madness with Reggie Bragg as he tells of hilarious rollator incidents and educates you on keeping your nipples greased!

Please take note, attendees. Any rollator parked without a blue badge will be crushed and put on display as per parish policy. This is non-negotiable and owners should be aware.

On Tuesday, the start of the ice age was upon us, and we began to prepare base for lock down. However, I did have a visit to my physio in the afternoon planned. With my walking skills being just like that of a baby elephant recently born into this world, and snow and cold hitting us, I was nervous about making any trip alone. I know it is only a short 10 yard walk to my car, a drive and then a 5 yard walk at the other end, but I just get stupidly worried about breaking down and getting stranded.

By the time 1:30pm came there was sun in the sky and I felt far more confident. After getting in my car, I started the 10 mile drive to the East! Driving is one area of life where I feel absolutely normal still, and long may that reign. But, 3 miles into the drive, snow suddenly started, with flakes the size of tennis balls! Typical, I thought, I will now get stranded. With my voice and walking, I do dread being stopped or assisted by a policeman or emergency services personnel. Trying to explain to them without being given a breathalyzer test or being tazored would be a challenge!

I have a lot of experience of driving in snow, but mainly I just approach such conditions slowly and gently.  However, it can still scare the living  daylights out of you. Anyway, it’s best avoided really. I made my Physio at the Boxgrove and as always, it gave me a real boost.

But people out there. Please don’t go out in ridiculous weather, it’s not worth it. I have this real fear of going out on my scooter, freezing and getting mistaken for one of those “statue” artists on London’s South Bank.

“Oh look at that Man mummy. He is incredibly still. Can we tip him?”

“No, just pour a kettle of warm water over me now please!”

Finally, in this cold time, don’t worry about global warming and stock up on heating materials!

We use Bragg’s Burn the Evidence coal (Strange name???) on our real fire. He was giving it away freely down the road. Odd odour, but burns terrifically and oh so nice and warm. The dogs love it! They even nibble on the cold coals……

By this time next week we would have probably had an earthquake or other natural disaster.

In the meantime, does anyone have a Snow Rollator?

Sametime next week readers, if not before!